whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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