WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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