do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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