remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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