I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
