i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
