I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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