I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
