it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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