You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
