so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
