He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
