kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
