My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
MIDGETS
????
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
