In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
