But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is Oprah even human
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
