The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
