Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
