I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
