What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
