i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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