matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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