Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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