Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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