I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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