Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
