Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
