Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
