am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize