come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
