I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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