You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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