i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
