Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
