You really coming over, don't trick.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
