Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My vagina just recognized that song.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
