the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
