She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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