we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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