i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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