Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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