Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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