Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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