im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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