it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
