I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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