I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
