Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
