i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
