third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i think i just lost a toe
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
